grief · love

The Crush

 taylor.f11/flickr

I was in love, I think

With the possibility of you.

With the romantic afternoons I dreamed we would spend
Lost in each other.
Lounging in bed, watching movies
Snuggled under warm blankets,
Flushed skin tingling with anticipation.

We would get up only
To make hot, strong tea.
Playfully arguing over whose turn it was
To brave the cold kitchen floor with bare warrior toes.
You would return triumphant with your scalding hot victory,
Kissing my forehead as I pulled you back into my warmth.

I thought about
The love we would make, over and over.
Passionate kisses and tender embraces.
Burning with lust, begging to be touched. Adoration.
I loved the fiery images that you conjured in my head.
The way our demons sighed together in peaceful unison
And no one else could reach us on our secret island of bliss.

I was in love with
The way your eyes watched me move
Across a candlelit bar
Drinking in the swing of my hips
And the curve of my ass.
You looked like you longed only for me
And it felt delicious.
Magic crackled expectantly over secret gazes
And I knew that you felt it too.

I imagined us
Sinking into the steaming bubbles of a claw foot bath,
Me nestled back against your warm chest.
We would talk awhile,
Drink wine; an opulent ruby red dancing on our tongues.
Perhaps we would read our books
As the water cooled around us,
Roaming free in worlds of our own,
yet never truly alone.

I was infatuated
by the trips we would take,
The valleys we would explore.
The way we would escape, carefree out into the world,
Holding hands, looking out over glittering cities.
Swinging in playgrounds, flying and laughing against a darkening sky.
Caresses under waterfalls.
Kisses stolen under a blanket of stars.
We were children of the earth, seeking our next adventure.

We saw each other’s soul laid bare, all of it.
A brave vulnerability.
We loved, I thought, with a love quite different to others.
One I had not known, for every love is unique.
Worshipping the very essence of each other’s being.

There are times when I was undone by you.
Your voice, your eyes, your imagination.
I would have done anything for you.
We burned too bright for our time
Scorching our fingers that ached to be closer entwined
As our fantasies crumbled to ash.

 And all that remains is this:
A memory.
A connection.
A dream that lives on through time.
A lazy smile playing gently with the thought of your name.
Hope.

Tomorrow is another day. Who knows what it will bring?
Perhaps it will bring you.

~

Photo: taylor.f11/flickr

Originally published at elephant journal here.

Advertisements

6 thoughts on “The Crush

Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in:

WordPress.com Logo

You are commenting using your WordPress.com account. Log Out / Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out / Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out / Change )

Google+ photo

You are commenting using your Google+ account. Log Out / Change )

Connecting to %s